Beasts in Jungle

January 9th: Uttaradit to Den Chai – 72.2km

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Day 88

We are getting into and out of the groove depending on the day. Travel fits dancing metaphors quite well, although it’s more like dancing on a first date where your date wants you to dance and you can’t say no. Sometimes the music is perfect. The mood suits you, the beat is just right and all you have to do is let go and the rest takes care of itself. On these days the road is smooth. Hills give you enough speed to coast to the top of the next apex. A perfect lunch spot appears when you’re hungry and that clean hotel you need is right where you expected it to be, for the right price. Your date is impressed that you dance so effortlessly. Did you take lessons? She asks you.

Other days you want to rock it out but only country music is playing. You dance anyway, and you do so begrudgingly. You step on your partner’s toes, you’re out of sync with both your date and the music. You lurch around the floor like you’ve just learned about this new fad called dancing. You kept going when you should have stopped for lunch, the hotel you wanted is overpriced and there isn’t a restaurant nor store within half an hours ride. You try another place around the corner but it’s filthy and the owner is chuckling to himself like a lunatic. You end up backtracking 20 km to a hotel you passed up as not far enough and you eat lunch at 7-11 with the other tourists. But like a date, in the end you find that even though you stepped on their toes all night, your date is going to throw you a bone for trying. You roll into a little bungalow across the road from the 7-11 and it’s everything you need, AC, wi-fi, clean, quiet and cheap. You decide to rest there because you got lucky and your date promised breakfast in bed!

To elucidate we followed signs for a homestay, each promising “it is just 1km ahead!” for about 20kms. When we got there it was overpriced, and in the middle of nowhere. We backtracked and found a crazy man chuckling to himself who showed us a frightening filthy room that was also overpriced. We then backtracked even further to the first place we saw when we arrived in town but decided to press on because, well, you know, never stop at the first option you see. After a long day of traveling and backtracking, it was everything we asked for.

January 8th: Wat Noi Pho Thai Ngam to Uttaradit – 90km

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Day 87

Back on it! Maybe it was because of the good night of rest or our proximity to our climbing destination Chiang Mai, despite the heat and the distance there was a certain excitement in the air.

Upon reaching the planned destination for the day at the 60km mark, we could only toil on, passing many inviting hotels along the way under the torturing afternoon sun. Why? Because we made the made a stupid mistake of not taking out cash at the seemingly ubiquitous ATMs. And we spent our last Baht on some snacks. It turned out that the ATM we passed was the one and only before Uttaradit 30km away. With zero Baht in our pockets, we pressed on in 34°c heat till we reached Uttaradit.

Soon we found we made another mistake – we hadn’t planned on arriving in , nor stopping at Uttaradit. Without the help of the almighty Google Maps, we didn’t know where to go, as we’ve learned many Thai Hotels are tucked away on the outskirts without any signs in English. We ended up spending a lot of time looking for buildings that appear to be hotels. Multiple air-conditioners in the widows, signs that read squiggly, squiggle, squiggle (in Thai) Wi-Fi, squiggle 24. We discussed memorizing the characters for hotel but there are hotels, motels, guest houses, home stays, resorts all buried in a lot of other complicated script advertising various amenities. Our winning trick is looking out for keywords, such as “24” (24-hour check-in/room service), “Wi-Fi” (almost all Thai hotels offer free WiFi) and very often a red arrow, have led us to our lodging.

However, this was not the case in Uttaradit. After spending an hour wandering around, we found nothing. Eventually we had to resort to the old-fashioned human-to-human interaction by asking locals. Of course, we were directed to the most swanky hotel in town – Friday Hotel.

Many fancy hotels quote a price that includes an overpriced breakfast. At Friday Hotel, we were quoted 800 Baht with “complimentary” buffet breakfast and 450 without. For 350 we could have 3 large meals. Venturing just outside the hotel we found a local market where 20 Baht gets you a bag of prepared food. With several bags and 150 Baht later we had a feast.

These markets are everywhere and perfect if you can’t speak Thai. All you need to do is just to point and pick and you are guaranteed authentic local fair. Remember the word “phet” for spicy, with some body language the venders will know what you’re getting at and point out the ones that are spicy and non-spicy. I like spicy food, but even mildly spicy by Thai standards is at my upper threshold.

January 7th: Noen Phoem to Wat Noi Pho Thai Ngam – 39.5 km

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Day 86

Semi-rest day. We are not really physically exhausted, but we are a bit weary. The on-the-go mentality is hard to maintain when the journey becomes monotonous. Accommodation is easy to find, the road is smooth and straight forward, and the people are nice enough to let us mind our own business. We only need to be the mechanical engines of our trikes. In some ways when the going gets tough, we get to be the pilots guiding our battleships through adventures, and at the end of the day every everything feels like a reward. Our previous 2.5 months were filled with little adventures and adversities that made most days satisfying, but since we entered Thailand, everything becomes easier. This is also the longest stretch that we’ve had in one country since we left Hong Kong. We might need to find some intermediate activities between the climbing destinations to spice up our pedalling.

January 6th: Wat Phon Chai to Noen Phoem – 46 km

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Day 85

Today was a day of contrasts with 15C in the morning and 34C in the afternoon. Cycling in the mornings was inspiring. Passing through clouds of mist, we were alternately chilled and warmed as the scenery around us unfolds in a warm diffuse glow.

Plant life also displayed this difference with both banana trees and autumn leaves. Passing over a crisp hilltop we both wondered if we were in New York in the fall. Only the Thai villages and banana trees scattered along the road side reminded us our real location. These two seemingly polar opposites thriving in the midst of each other.

We are the only thing not thriving in this environment. When it’s so pleasantly cool in the morning the heat is just offensive under the grilling tropical sun. Although the heat will be the least of our worries soon. We are now over halfway to Chiang Mai and it looks like it will get more mountainous as we get closer. Hopefully the excitement of reaching our next climbing destination will be the wind at our backs.

January 5th: Wat Pa San Tom to Wat Phon Chai – 42 km

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Day 84

Waking up to heavy dew settling on our sleeping bags, tent and everything uncovered, we were looking forward to a short day.

Our love/hate relationship with gravity granted our wish as we found out where all those missing downhills to our uphills went. Cher broke our speed record today on one particularly straight steep downhill topping out at 56 kmh / 35 mph.

We arrived in town early and although we felt that we could go much further we decided not to brave it due to the next 30 kilometers of highway’s resemblance to a line drawn by a toddler during an earthquake.

Route 210 is a scenic drive. At times the trees and grass appear as if they could come from any North American forest and at other times there are rubber trees, coconut palms, and papaya trees.

We were quite confused about how the hotels or “resorts” are priced around here and today was a perfect example. We stopped at 4 places. The first offered private bungalows, wifi, and air-conditioning for 350 Baht. The second which was of about the same quality was 600. Just 100 meters away was a newer one which charged 700, but 400 if you wanted to camp on a steep slope with no shade. However, just across the street we came to our current place which is 400, with all the amenities and free coffee and use of a microwave. We’re not sure how camping and a private room are on par with each other and maybe we’ll never know.

January 4th: Erawan to Wat Pa San Tom – 59 km

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Day 83

From the look of the roads ahead, our pleasure tour was turning back into an adventure. We met the owner of the resort we stayed in last night, a Dutch who settled down in Thailand 7 years ago. Despite his warning of extremely mountainous terrain ahead of us, we were glad to hear that he described the view as “little Switzerland”.

Before long we met the mountains that were waiting for us, and they did not disappoint. With 10% grade and somehow very little downhills, we had to work hard for every km gained. Much to our disappointment, there was no “little Switzerland” to be found, except plenty of farms selling potted plants. We had our lunch break under a rubber tree, pondering if we had our expectation too high for the “little Switzerland”.

Having put many uphills behind and gone the distance we set out to do, we were happy to find a camp ground. However they wanted to charge us 240 Baht for two people so we kept on moving. The next hotel was 600, and then to our surprise the following “resort” wanted 2,500 for a room. Moving on yet again we found a restaurant with some tents pitched behind it. We were quoted at 200 but after pointing out that we had our own tent and some bargain, the owner accepted and we were happy just to find an affordable place to stay for the night. Somehow we managed to travel into a very expensive tourist area with no tourists. From the look of things we were in the off-season and many of the hotels were empty. The strange part was that no one really wants to bargain despite the vacancy.

January 3rd: Nong Bua to Erawan – 63 km

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Day 82

What a difference getting up early makes. We ate a leisurely breakfast and we were on the road by 7:30. At this hour, the traffic was light, the air was cool and most importantly, there was no need to rush. Today was a pleasant day. We were leaving the suburbs and the surroundings were becoming more rural. Closely growing trees provided regular shade and only opened up to reveal fields of sugar cane, instead of strip malls. We were seeing more tractors and home-made trucks (basically tractors with a flat bed in the back, two car seats, and a hand welded hood, no windshield).

On the down side, we were leaving the flat plains and moving into the mountains. Just as we finished today I saw them waiting for us in the distance.

Although the amount of curiosity seekers is much lower than China or Vietnam, today we encountered some very interested locals. One man in a blue pickup truck, (everyone here drives a pickup, I would even bet they are more common here than in Texas), tried to stop us 3 times. First he almost hit me with his door as I passed him parked on the shoulder. Then 5 minutes later he flew by us and pulled over and was waving money at us. The third time he stopped again and gave me a deep bow. We didn’t stop at any of these occasions so we didn’t get a chance to learn the real reason behind this stop and chase ordeal. I can only guess that maybe he felt bad about almost hitting me the first time he stopped, hence the money and the deep bow later. No more than 15 minutes later, a man with a camera jumped into my path and tried to wave me down, as if I would really stop and pose for him. Maybe we look too friendly but I don’t think there is anything that we can do to make our appearance more menacing, not as long as we’re riding trikes.

We made it to our destination early in the afternoon and for 300 Baht are now enjoying WiFi, and a pool! Thailand is spoiling us. Where is the hardship of adventure in this land of milk and honey?

January 2nd: Udon Thani to Nong Bua – 49 km

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Day 81

Maybe it’s the cold nights and comfortable beds, we get up and out later and later. Today we planned on a 76 km day but only made 49km.

We were unpleasantly surprised in several ways today. First, it was hot and humid. Second, we had a long uphill climb. Third, a group of police officers stopped us in the middle of 1 and 2, neither of which put us in an entertaining mood. We may have lost a bit of endurance during our long rock climbing stay and our legs were lumps of clay. So in the middle of our misery, a truck full of police officers pulled over on the shoulder in front of us and jumped out. My first thought was that we did something wrong, or they wanted to check our documents. Then we saw the camera. One officer kept motioning to my trike and saying “picture picture”. I wiped the sweat from my face, and told him no. I started to ride off but Cher was still trapped on the other side. A few minutes later she appeared and told me that she was busy giving them a lecture on how rude it was to stop us for pictures in the middle of an uphill climb under the blazing sun. We afterwards both admitted it wasn’t really a big deal, but when you’re hot tired and mashing up a hill in the afternoon sun, the last thing you want is being stopped for pictures.

We arrived in town without further incident and both agreed that we would get up early tomorrow. Weather calls for 32 C. or 90 F. and sunny. However it will be 35 C. / 95 F. in two days. What happened to our sweet autumnal Cantaloupes and Honeydew Melon days? I guess there’s a reasons why we’re surrounded by coconut palms, banana trees, and tamarind trees.

December 31st – January 1st: Nong Mek to Udon Thani and a Rest Day – 46 km

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Day 79-80

We made it to the big city. Udon Thani is Thailand’s 4th largest city and in the spirit of the holiday and big cities, we have procured another tablet. We did not foresee this but we need 2 tablets. Typing, updating the blog, uploading photos, navigating, reading, language studying and keeping in touch with only one tablet has been frustrating for 2 people. We’ve done our best for the past 2.5 months, but we caved in today and bought a Samsung Note 8. I do feel a bit guilty that we have so many comforts, but so did Fridjtof Nansen when he made his expedition to the North Pole in his well stocked ship, the Fram which was equipped with a library, musical instruments games and enough varied food to provide multiple course meals. And if arctic explorers can have comforts, why shouldn’t we? The new addition to our possession made Cher’s day, and possibly the whole year. On the down side, I no longer have any excuse to procrastinate on updating the blog.

Perhaps it’s the convenience, the copious amounts of calories on display, or our own laziness, but we found that we had to pull ourselves out of the mall to get food from street stalls. Even if street stalls overcharge you, they are still cheaper. On our way to Udon Thani we stopped for lunch and ordered some noodles and were charged almost twice what they were worth, but since we have a guidebook with food translations I made the owner’s husband point to the items printed on the menu with prices shown while I double checked. He realized he was caught and to avoid losing further face he tried to waive the bill. Thanking him for his “kindness”, we paid the correct amount and didn’t give him the satisfaction. However, on the whole people have been honest and generous. While stopping to check the price at a “resort” (small cheap bungalows), the owner gave us two ice-cold Cokes and two bottles of water. She wished us a happy new year and good luck, even knowing that we wouldn’t stay at her place.

Taking a day to rest on the new year we wandered around the city and picked up some odds and ends. My discount pants from Hong Kong need constant sewing, so I picked up a roll of thread and some needles. If you were a sailor in the 1900’s this was a regular Sunday routine, which makes this a manly, adventurous activity. I have a feeling that our clothes will give me many opportunities to prove my manliness in the coming year.

December 30th: Phang Khon to Nong Mek – 64.75 km

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Day 78

Although the scenery along Route 22 isn’t that spectacular, we were quite happy to have more cool weather, flat roads and very little stress.

Having done a little research before we left, we found a little “resort”off the road to stay at. For 350 Bhat we got our own private bungalow, with a covered parking spot, wi-fi, hot-water and air-conditioning.

Once again we found food just around the corner from our lodging. We were able to purchase blood tofu, (congealed pig’s blood) with lemon grass in coconut sauce, 4 sausages, 5 eggs, pickled green onions, brazed pork with vegetables and a bag of mung bean noodles for 127 Baht or 4 US dollars. Most of it, with the exception of the fresh sausages, was precooked. Everything that we bought was delectable. We saved the sausages and eggs for breakfast. If this keeps up, we might actually gain weight traveling through Thailand.

December 29th: Sakon Nakhon to Phang Khon – 57.24 km

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Day 77

Oh smooth roads, how sweet you are! It’s amazing how much faster and efficient we can pedal on smooth roads. No more vibration from the road till your hands are numb and your vision blurred. This coupled with winter weather in Thailand, which feels like a warm autumn day in North America, makes cycling a joy. As if to support my autumn theory we came to a market selling pumpkins, cantaloupe and honeydew melons. There we had some of the most perfectly ripe cantaloupes we’ve ever tasted. Compared to what we came through in Laos, Thailand is a cornucopia of convenience.

Learning from our previous mistake, we did a little map research the night before and found a nice clean room without much effort. In Thailand, hotels tend to be located on the less traveled side streets, and with very little advertisement and no English signs they are very easy to miss.

Strolling out to get dinner, we found a Sunday market selling all types of Thai delights just 100 meters away from the hotel. We went crazy for dinner sausages, spicy fish with coconut cream steamed in banana leaves, fried spring rolls in salad, grilled sticky rice, pad thai and sticky rice with mango and coconut for desert. The market food here rivals that of any expensive restaurant.

December 28th: Nakhon Phanom to Sakon Nakhon – 98.17 km

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Day 76

So far wherever we have traveled, hotels are everywhere so we have done little planning as to where we will lay our heads each night. Today Thailand taught us a new lesson. We were a bit slow getting back into the routines of cycling, and after changing our rear view mirrors to the right hand side (as the traffic goes on the opposite side in Thailand), we didn’t get on the road until 10am. Shortly after arriving at what we thought would be our destination we were alarmed to find no hotels and the next town Sakon Nakhon was another 50kms away. With the afternoon sun already casting long shadows, we rushed off to get to Sakon Nakhon before sunset.

Luckily for us, Route 22 was smooth and level with a generous shoulder. After being on high alert over the last 2 months keeping a vigilant lookout both ahead and behind on narrow or zero shoulders, a long day of nearly 100km without stress wasn’t nearly as tiring. However, it did burn up calories.

We rolled into Sakon Nakhon just as the sun was setting and couldn’t find a cheap hotel. Finally we came across the Majestic Hotel, which would cost us 1000 Baht per night. Out of exhaustion and hunger, we almost took it on the spot after learning that the room includes a free buffet breakfast. I rationalized that since I could break even at the buffet breakfast table by eating 700 Baht worth of food, the Majestic Hotel would be within our budget. After Cher put the amount in terms I could comprehend, I agreed it was too much and we were directed to a cheaper option.

The cheaper option was 560 Baht at another majestic looking hotel, which also included breakfast. With fantasies of ravaging the buffet, we both greedily accepted, disregarding that we could have had a cheaper rate without the breakfast. We went to bed with high expectations for the breakfast and we woke up with higher expectations in the morning. We rushed to the lobby like kids on Christmas and quickly found that Santa had only left an “American breakfast” with 2 sad eggs and some toast. And of course, in reality, no one had promised us a buffet breakfast from the beginning.