Beasts in Jungle

January 13th: Lamphon to Mae On – 39km

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Day 92

We just learned that we don’t have to go into Chiang Mai and that the climbing area is only 39km from Lamphon. Going into Chiang Mai would have added another 35kms, so our decision to stop short in Lamphon was quite serendipitous. Our ride was pleasant and we arrived at a small homestay within walking distance of the crag. Although they didn’t have an opening in the only 2 bungalows, we were told we could camp in the orchard for 100 Baht per night until there was. We set up camp in the very back of the property and made ourselves at home.

January 12th: Lampang to Lamphon – 76km

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Day 91

Today was the first day that in the middle of the ascent I just wanted to get off my trike and let loose a long stream of expletives at gravity and the sun. I didn’t though and kept my aching ass to myself. Travelling in a pair has this effect, you have to stay strong for the other person. However, you don’t want to remain heartlessly cheery when the other person is in pure agony; it’s a balance between stoic forbearance and gentle empathy.

We planned on stopping at 50 km and had chosen a resort as our destination, which usually when in the middle of nowhere situated on a highway, tend to be comfortable bungalows. Stopping at the star I dropped on Google Maps, the GPS from our tablet indicated that we were there, but there weren’t any signs. Walking through a gate I inspected the bungalows while Cher guarded the trikes. I knew that place was expensive as soon as I saw modern glass cubed bungalows with little porches covered in assorted decorative pillows. We soon found out that the bungalow costs 2,500 Baht per night. The owner laughed when I told him we were looking for something around 450 Baht.

We pressed on and were mocked by paragliders coasting about overhead. Luckily for us the rest of the day was downhill and we were only a day away from Chiang Mai.

January 11th: Den Chai to Lampang – 88km

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Day 90

We woke up early enough to be immersed in the morning mist. We passed by several light armored vehicles and bus loads of soldiers heading out, probably to quell anti-government protests in Bangkok.

We are now armed with 2 tablets, and have made good use of them. Many of the roads we’re now on have a wide shoulder, and many of the ascents are so steep that loaded tractor trailers are only crawling by us in the next lane. With these precautions in mind we have broke out the headphones and put on some tunes. Today we crawled up a 9% grade for 2 hours in the sun but neither of us minded as long as we were accompanied by our own personal soundtracks. Mine was Dr. Dog and Cher was indulging in a random selection which included Nat King Cole’s “chesnuts roasting on an open fire… ” which she did not skip.

Lampang is a tidy little town with little French row homes. We appreciated the sights as long as our stomachs would allow and although we found a night market, it was of the more touristy variety so there weren’t any cheap bags of food as we had hoped. If we were doing a city tour it would be a nice place to stop with a good mix of foreign and local tourists and some local students playing half-hearted local music. However, we couldn’t complain about the convenience of touristy cities – we found a grocery store and our favourite breakfast oatmeal. To the cyclist this is a powerhouse. There are few breakfast options that sit better and stay with you longer than oatmeal. I have a new appreciation and affection for oatmeal that would make Mr. Quaker blush. Just two more days and we will be in Chiang Mai!

January 10th: Rest Day in Den Chai – Surprises and Thoughts on the Sex Trade in Thailand

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Day 89

We had a rest day and I learned a little about the sex trade in Thailand. From Wikipedia I learned that the sex trade is seen as necessary because of the view that men have insatiable sexual appetites and it’s better that they get it out of their system in an impersonal encounter rather than a long emotional affair with a woman on the side. There is also the problem that in poor rural communities women are expected to help provide for the family and prostitution is considered an easy way to make some money. The inferior social status of women, coupled with an acceptance of prostitution, leads to young women being forced into it. There have been campaigns directed towards changing social acceptance of the sex trade. But with continued poverty and the popularity of Thailand as a sexual tourism destination, the campaigns have done little to stop it.

I often wonder how people see Cher and I. We only have hiking clothes to wear when strolling around town, but we still receive some long looks in many small towns.That coupled with the amount of signs, in English, in many local hotels where no one speaks English, that say you are not allowed to bring prostitutes into the hotel has led me to believe that not all of those looks are of the curious sort. Cher has been mistaken for being Vietnamese, Lao, Thai, Filipino, and Japanese. So every where we go she’s a local girl with a white guy. On the other hand I could be completely wrong and the only time that we could understand what people thought of us, a woman in southern China asked if I was her father.

January 9th: Uttaradit to Den Chai – 72.2km

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Day 88

We are getting into and out of the groove depending on the day. Travel fits dancing metaphors quite well, although it’s more like dancing on a first date where your date wants you to dance and you can’t say no. Sometimes the music is perfect. The mood suits you, the beat is just right and all you have to do is let go and the rest takes care of itself. On these days the road is smooth. Hills give you enough speed to coast to the top of the next apex. A perfect lunch spot appears when you’re hungry and that clean hotel you need is right where you expected it to be, for the right price. Your date is impressed that you dance so effortlessly. Did you take lessons? She asks you.

Other days you want to rock it out but only country music is playing. You dance anyway, and you do so begrudgingly. You step on your partner’s toes, you’re out of sync with both your date and the music. You lurch around the floor like you’ve just learned about this new fad called dancing. You kept going when you should have stopped for lunch, the hotel you wanted is overpriced and there isn’t a restaurant nor store within half an hours ride. You try another place around the corner but it’s filthy and the owner is chuckling to himself like a lunatic. You end up backtracking 20 km to a hotel you passed up as not far enough and you eat lunch at 7-11 with the other tourists. But like a date, in the end you find that even though you stepped on their toes all night, your date is going to throw you a bone for trying. You roll into a little bungalow across the road from the 7-11 and it’s everything you need, AC, wi-fi, clean, quiet and cheap. You decide to rest there because you got lucky and your date promised breakfast in bed!

To elucidate we followed signs for a homestay, each promising “it is just 1km ahead!” for about 20kms. When we got there it was overpriced, and in the middle of nowhere. We backtracked and found a crazy man chuckling to himself who showed us a frightening filthy room that was also overpriced. We then backtracked even further to the first place we saw when we arrived in town but decided to press on because, well, you know, never stop at the first option you see. After a long day of traveling and backtracking, it was everything we asked for.

January 8th: Wat Noi Pho Thai Ngam to Uttaradit – 90km

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Day 87

Back on it! Maybe it was because of the good night of rest or our proximity to our climbing destination Chiang Mai, despite the heat and the distance there was a certain excitement in the air.

Upon reaching the planned destination for the day at the 60km mark, we could only toil on, passing many inviting hotels along the way under the torturing afternoon sun. Why? Because we made the made a stupid mistake of not taking out cash at the seemingly ubiquitous ATMs. And we spent our last Baht on some snacks. It turned out that the ATM we passed was the one and only before Uttaradit 30km away. With zero Baht in our pockets, we pressed on in 34°c heat till we reached Uttaradit.

Soon we found we made another mistake – we hadn’t planned on arriving in , nor stopping at Uttaradit. Without the help of the almighty Google Maps, we didn’t know where to go, as we’ve learned many Thai Hotels are tucked away on the outskirts without any signs in English. We ended up spending a lot of time looking for buildings that appear to be hotels. Multiple air-conditioners in the widows, signs that read squiggly, squiggle, squiggle (in Thai) Wi-Fi, squiggle 24. We discussed memorizing the characters for hotel but there are hotels, motels, guest houses, home stays, resorts all buried in a lot of other complicated script advertising various amenities. Our winning trick is looking out for keywords, such as “24” (24-hour check-in/room service), “Wi-Fi” (almost all Thai hotels offer free WiFi) and very often a red arrow, have led us to our lodging.

However, this was not the case in Uttaradit. After spending an hour wandering around, we found nothing. Eventually we had to resort to the old-fashioned human-to-human interaction by asking locals. Of course, we were directed to the most swanky hotel in town – Friday Hotel.

Many fancy hotels quote a price that includes an overpriced breakfast. At Friday Hotel, we were quoted 800 Baht with “complimentary” buffet breakfast and 450 without. For 350 we could have 3 large meals. Venturing just outside the hotel we found a local market where 20 Baht gets you a bag of prepared food. With several bags and 150 Baht later we had a feast.

These markets are everywhere and perfect if you can’t speak Thai. All you need to do is just to point and pick and you are guaranteed authentic local fair. Remember the word “phet” for spicy, with some body language the venders will know what you’re getting at and point out the ones that are spicy and non-spicy. I like spicy food, but even mildly spicy by Thai standards is at my upper threshold.

January 7th: Noen Phoem to Wat Noi Pho Thai Ngam – 39.5 km

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Day 86

Semi-rest day. We are not really physically exhausted, but we are a bit weary. The on-the-go mentality is hard to maintain when the journey becomes monotonous. Accommodation is easy to find, the road is smooth and straight forward, and the people are nice enough to let us mind our own business. We only need to be the mechanical engines of our trikes. In some ways when the going gets tough, we get to be the pilots guiding our battleships through adventures, and at the end of the day every everything feels like a reward. Our previous 2.5 months were filled with little adventures and adversities that made most days satisfying, but since we entered Thailand, everything becomes easier. This is also the longest stretch that we’ve had in one country since we left Hong Kong. We might need to find some intermediate activities between the climbing destinations to spice up our pedalling.

January 6th: Wat Phon Chai to Noen Phoem – 46 km

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Day 85

Today was a day of contrasts with 15C in the morning and 34C in the afternoon. Cycling in the mornings was inspiring. Passing through clouds of mist, we were alternately chilled and warmed as the scenery around us unfolds in a warm diffuse glow.

Plant life also displayed this difference with both banana trees and autumn leaves. Passing over a crisp hilltop we both wondered if we were in New York in the fall. Only the Thai villages and banana trees scattered along the road side reminded us our real location. These two seemingly polar opposites thriving in the midst of each other.

We are the only thing not thriving in this environment. When it’s so pleasantly cool in the morning the heat is just offensive under the grilling tropical sun. Although the heat will be the least of our worries soon. We are now over halfway to Chiang Mai and it looks like it will get more mountainous as we get closer. Hopefully the excitement of reaching our next climbing destination will be the wind at our backs.

January 5th: Wat Pa San Tom to Wat Phon Chai – 42 km

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Day 84

Waking up to heavy dew settling on our sleeping bags, tent and everything uncovered, we were looking forward to a short day.

Our love/hate relationship with gravity granted our wish as we found out where all those missing downhills to our uphills went. Cher broke our speed record today on one particularly straight steep downhill topping out at 56 kmh / 35 mph.

We arrived in town early and although we felt that we could go much further we decided not to brave it due to the next 30 kilometers of highway’s resemblance to a line drawn by a toddler during an earthquake.

Route 210 is a scenic drive. At times the trees and grass appear as if they could come from any North American forest and at other times there are rubber trees, coconut palms, and papaya trees.

We were quite confused about how the hotels or “resorts” are priced around here and today was a perfect example. We stopped at 4 places. The first offered private bungalows, wifi, and air-conditioning for 350 Baht. The second which was of about the same quality was 600. Just 100 meters away was a newer one which charged 700, but 400 if you wanted to camp on a steep slope with no shade. However, just across the street we came to our current place which is 400, with all the amenities and free coffee and use of a microwave. We’re not sure how camping and a private room are on par with each other and maybe we’ll never know.

January 4th: Erawan to Wat Pa San Tom – 59 km

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Day 83

From the look of the roads ahead, our pleasure tour was turning back into an adventure. We met the owner of the resort we stayed in last night, a Dutch who settled down in Thailand 7 years ago. Despite his warning of extremely mountainous terrain ahead of us, we were glad to hear that he described the view as “little Switzerland”.

Before long we met the mountains that were waiting for us, and they did not disappoint. With 10% grade and somehow very little downhills, we had to work hard for every km gained. Much to our disappointment, there was no “little Switzerland” to be found, except plenty of farms selling potted plants. We had our lunch break under a rubber tree, pondering if we had our expectation too high for the “little Switzerland”.

Having put many uphills behind and gone the distance we set out to do, we were happy to find a camp ground. However they wanted to charge us 240 Baht for two people so we kept on moving. The next hotel was 600, and then to our surprise the following “resort” wanted 2,500 for a room. Moving on yet again we found a restaurant with some tents pitched behind it. We were quoted at 200 but after pointing out that we had our own tent and some bargain, the owner accepted and we were happy just to find an affordable place to stay for the night. Somehow we managed to travel into a very expensive tourist area with no tourists. From the look of things we were in the off-season and many of the hotels were empty. The strange part was that no one really wants to bargain despite the vacancy.

January 3rd: Nong Bua to Erawan – 63 km

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Day 82

What a difference getting up early makes. We ate a leisurely breakfast and we were on the road by 7:30. At this hour, the traffic was light, the air was cool and most importantly, there was no need to rush. Today was a pleasant day. We were leaving the suburbs and the surroundings were becoming more rural. Closely growing trees provided regular shade and only opened up to reveal fields of sugar cane, instead of strip malls. We were seeing more tractors and home-made trucks (basically tractors with a flat bed in the back, two car seats, and a hand welded hood, no windshield).

On the down side, we were leaving the flat plains and moving into the mountains. Just as we finished today I saw them waiting for us in the distance.

Although the amount of curiosity seekers is much lower than China or Vietnam, today we encountered some very interested locals. One man in a blue pickup truck, (everyone here drives a pickup, I would even bet they are more common here than in Texas), tried to stop us 3 times. First he almost hit me with his door as I passed him parked on the shoulder. Then 5 minutes later he flew by us and pulled over and was waving money at us. The third time he stopped again and gave me a deep bow. We didn’t stop at any of these occasions so we didn’t get a chance to learn the real reason behind this stop and chase ordeal. I can only guess that maybe he felt bad about almost hitting me the first time he stopped, hence the money and the deep bow later. No more than 15 minutes later, a man with a camera jumped into my path and tried to wave me down, as if I would really stop and pose for him. Maybe we look too friendly but I don’t think there is anything that we can do to make our appearance more menacing, not as long as we’re riding trikes.

We made it to our destination early in the afternoon and for 300 Baht are now enjoying WiFi, and a pool! Thailand is spoiling us. Where is the hardship of adventure in this land of milk and honey?